The Cracked Porcelain Doll

Crap Mariner continues to manifest some kind of psychic disturbances, showing his avatar skin as human, with increasing patches of broken porcelain, like a doll.

Whatever is troubling him in RL or SL, I'm serving as a punching bag for this. It's strange. I don't know what it's really about.

A few weeks ago, I wrote on Twitter:

Lately Crap Mariner has been appearing as a human being or porcelain doll & not a robot. I'm finding this too Uncanny Valley. Make it stop! 1:44 AM Jun 14th via web

A humorous, light comment of the sort that someone who operates SecondLie Scribe and SecondLie some of the time  often makes  (apparently one of the people he shared this account with was the griefing asshole from Woodbury named Cam). A joke that hinges on the idea of a kind of man-bite-dog -- that ordinarily, you might find it Twilight Zone if a human became more robotic; but because Crap starts out as a robot, if he becomes more human, you find *that* Uncanny Valley.

For some reason, this comment struck home to this being/avatar Crap Mariner, and he began to savage me. He began to write the most awful untrue things about me. Like that I only cared about traffic to pay ads. Or that I was a greedy landlord and self interested only. Or that I wanted to become CEO of Linden Lab and was holding out for a better contract. Etc. Etc. Creepy! What makes people write lies like that? To impugn awful things to someone they know aren't true? That they've never said for years?

So, brushing past those obvious trolling bullshit techniques, I try to think, what is this *really* about. Perhaps my critique of Grace, that came before that. But yet, Crap seemed to remain calm about my remarks, possibly because deep down, he is pretty done with a lot of those musicians whom he tried to promote and help and never seemed to appreciate or cooperate with his leadership. He is likely indifferent to whatever scrapping is occuring between the Not Possible in Real Life marms and the musicians and whomeover over their 70 -- oops, now 4 -- sims.

Perhaps he got mad at my indifference to the Linden "bloodbath". I'm indifferent -- not maliciously gleeful as is wrongfully impugned to me -- because I think it's good that for once, the Lab took the hit and not the residents. But Crap, who was making these really nasty, vicious parodies of M Linden all this time, and was gunning for him to be fired next, saw it differently. He treats the Linden culling as some kind of noble losses in a civil war on his own side or something.

I don't have any use for M Linden, but I don't feel the animosity toward him as a "suit" or something that Crap as a geek and grid monkey feels. I appreciate whatever professionalism and efforts he brought to the table; I didn't appreciate his ruinious Viewer 2, which, bTW, Crap only praised as a toy to play with for all his Windlighty photos.

I once told Crap that I thought making a parody of M was a really great idea, and making him as an alphabet letter -- the really unpopular thing these new management types did in making them selves grandly named by letters -- was brilliant. But then, what didn't fit was his strange, retarded southern-style voice, like he was a hick. Whatever you want to say about M, I told Crap at the time, he's not a hick. He's a San Franciscan. This is a gentleman in the best clothes with the best that modern urban culture can give him. I would have parodied him as something like the hippie teacher on Hey Arnold, ineffectual, mild, bland, etc. Or as somewhat light in the loafers.

But Crap had a deep animosity to this *class* of human being -- manager of geeks -- as being a hick, stupid. Of course, there's something annoying -- even sinister -- about Crap's own class -- the geeks, the coders, the grid monkeys, the helpdeskers, etc. They have no loyalty to companies. They view themselves as highly superior to customers and management and other kinds of employees. They are in a permanent LOLZ and a sneer and view themselves as highly transient guns for hire that anyone is glad to hire and gets down on their knees and begs to work for $50-75 an hour.

I'm glad there a lot more of these people unemployed these days than there used to be, and I hope they will come to learn the joys of working at the post office, Rite-Aid, Kelly Girl, the 7/11, and the strawberry fields as I have over the years.

Now Crap is shrieking about this content loss of this fellow named Graf, and implying, by wearing a hated parody shirt of me called "Prok Star" made by the vicious little mediocrity Shaun Altman and distributed by the Woodburies, that I've done something evil. I've criticized Graf for being a prima dona and not waiting longer to let his case be processed and instead deleting sims and showing drama and charging out of SL in a huff.

I've been one of Crap's biggest fans, reading his posts and admiring his pictures and stories every day. I never became a groupie of the 100-word story events or other events on his sim -- I found that contrived and really not truly literary, but geeky -- not for us. But SL is such that an artist like Crap can have concentric circles of fans -- some people like one thing, other people like another, and the media is adjusted to have full immersion or lite sampling.

Lately, what Crap has been using his daily story hour posts for is to tell us the story of a RL diet and weight loss, coupled, punishingly, with a war on the wallet. I admire people who set goals and achieve them and Crap is doing that, losing weight, saving money towards other goals, eating healthy.

Yet...there's something back of this that points to a psychic disturbance. People have all kinds of reasons for losing weight and eating healthy -- it's hard to do and usually they finally take it on when either they have terrible health news delivered to them by doctors, or they need to find sexual/romantic partners, or they are just in midlife crisis -- something isn't right.

Of course, despite the always-on, always-share, Exposed Me quality of social media, we're not supposed to ask what is behind what already seems like a deep exposure. We don't Need to Know whether someone is 20 pounds less or ate burritos or clumps of spinach for lunch, but we're told this Too Much Information and then...we're supposed to shut up.

This is what I mean by social media as being such a burning lie -- such a subterfuge even as it discloses and exposes.

In real life, your very close friends who would tell just you -- and not the entire world -- that they were losing weight because their doctor warned them of a heart attack or because they needed a new girlfriend. That is, their valiant acts would come bundled with other relavant just-for-you news.

In social media fake life. somebody broadcasts their diets all day and their health eating and you feel like you're getting bulletins from Susan Powter and Richard, the sweating to the oldies guy, but you aren't hearing what's *really* up. And you don't dare comment or ask, except in a superficial way, because then you're rude, etc.

Social media like Second Life (which I clump together with this phenomenon, although they're different) also creates such fake and false friends. You think someone you've talked to nearly every day pleasantly, with understanding, with solidarity, with shared insights, with cameraderie is your "friend," but they aren't really. Of course you don't know them and can't see their *real* setting.

And they can turn on your suddenly like a junkyard dog and be harbouring terrible grievances for miles.

To which I can only shrug. Crap needs a punching bag and is using me. Something is wrong -- it's not about me. Even if somehow he has transformed it into being about me -- I don't care. I long since ceased expecting SL to be a place for real friends. When I want real friends, I spend time with my RL friends I can actually see and share a cup of tea with. I look at SL as primarily a useful interface for mediating enemies such that you can pry this or that feature of them and their works worth following from the other negative or disliked features of them.

What's happening with Crap reminds me of Maxx Monde. An arrogant FIC oldbie whom at first I appreciated as a newbie in the way you do when you haven't seen yet that a person is an asshole. Appreciated, even sympathized with, even exchanged RL info with. Then, you say something "off," they don't like, whoops, you're not a friend, and then whoops, you're savaged on the forums out of spleen. Max was breaking up his marriage, losing weight to find new partners, being an arrogant asshole, then moving on from his business of building in SL to whatever, only to surface back on the loathsome Second Citizen now and then. How filled Second Life is with such personages! Vain, stupid, arrogant -- making interesting and even beautiful things, but turning out to be assholes. Why?

Which is pretty much my attitude on the recent blowback from Prokofy, Soror, SaveMe, Finn, Indigo, Winona, Herald anklebiters, et al.

Who are these other people? I never heard of any of them. Oh, I think I saw one of them on Twitter but I don't know them. So, other people are giving blowback to Crap these days? Hm, maybe *I'm* not the problem!

What makes someone like Crap so publicly unadjusted and unhappy with their world and lashing out at friends over some minor disagreement?

Comments

[Darien Caldwell]

I've seen this happen before, with people I know and cared about. It can be strange and hurtful. More often than not, you may never figure out what happened, really. Somtimes, maybe they just change, and or you change, and you drift apart. Sometimes they may start running with a new crowd, and succumb to peer pressure about what types of people they associate with. Sometimes it's old fashioned politics.
Sorry to hear you're going through this, it's never fun.

[EnCore Mayne]

there are two types of people in the world. whiny bitchy moany types and everyone else. filtering out all the negative caca is an energy drain for some of us. having to constantly save the world for these people is impossible. they see things as their mind-set projects it. oh, and i think his cat died.

[Micha Sass]

"I look at SL as primarily a useful interface for mediating enemies..".

Nice.

Do another piece about 'Eurabia' or any other Bat Yeor meme, heck do a piece on 'Dhimmitude' next. You will be sure to have Crap back on side.

[Skylar Smythe]

What is obvious by your taunting is actually sincere concern for Crap. Perhaps you are feeling a little sensitive about the number of "oldbies" losing interest or passion for the platform.

I mean Prok...if there is no one left that you know, who the hell are you going to write about / diss and piss off for page rank?

You might try a more human approach. Like expressing concern that doesn't come on the tip of a whale harpoon. Just a suggestion.

I live to see the day that you write something really positive or take the bold step to write something incredibly personal about yourself. Turn the high powered and critical scope of observation in on yourself for a change. Be brave enough to talk about how YOU FEEL. Not on the state of Linden Exchange, attrition of players to other games or drama filled epic griefer tales...

Stop flaying other people when you run out of shit to talk about. It's beneath you.

Skylar

[Adric Antfarm]

[THIS WAS IN THE SPAM FILE BECAUSE IT HAD THE WORD WOODBURY IN IT POSSIBLY, WHO KNOWS? OR PERHAPS THIS IS THE IP OF AN ANONYMOUS POSTER ALONG WITH ADRIC? IT'S NOT 'BANNED' OR 'DELETED' BUT JUST IN THE GODDAMN SPAM FILE.

ADRIC IS A DOUCHE--PP]

I have a petition right here to bring Woodbury back. Once you green light it, we can have them back on the grid in no time and you can have a real enemy.

This shit is just getting sad. It's like After MASH or Archie Bunker's Place. You just need your cast back.

You can't drag someone of substance into this joke. You need those wacky boys with hammer and sickle back - cue Benny Hill theme!

And Skylar - NO! You do not want want to see a personal Prok story. The station chief in Istanbul used to tell some stories that would leave me sleepless for nights with a M1911A1 under my pillow. Most involved vodka, a bayonet, and a turk who didn't want to gather intel for us. Most of it we can't even talk about anyway.

[Prokofy Neva]

I'm glad to see that you have a notion of how people should behave, some sort of code of ethics, some sort of honour, Skylar.

But you were missing in action and couldn't apply this when Crap:

o accused me of only blogging for profit (!)
o accused me of attempting to become the CEO of Linden Lab (!)
o accused me of being a greedy landlord who cares nothing about culture, etc.
o mocked me with Woodbury t-shirts

all outrageous and false claims.

Oh, but wait, you're engaging in the same false claims, that I write or criticize "for a page rank". Hahahahaha.

I'm certainly going to "flay other people" when they flay me.

Second Life as a platform that mediates enemies is truly underrated.

Sensitivity about oldies losing their passion? No, I have seen it a hundred times. It's tiresom posturing. If you're done with Second Life, go be done. Go play World of Warcraft or tend your RL garden. Spare us the drama.

Crap's cat died a long time ago. He posted about his memorial for his one that died some time ago, indicating that he is not grieving for the cat so much as grieving for something else now that is bothering him.

And maybe it's just a realization that the venue through which he has expressed much of his real thoughts, ideas, and emotions so earnestly for so many years, as cube3, would say, is just a means for "the man" to "rip him off".

[Adric Antfarm]

Deleting comments is about as low rent as it gets Prok.

You have hit rock bottom.

See you at my blog. If only you let me have my line here....

[Prokofy Neva]

I don't delete comments, assfuck.

You know that perfectly well. My rules are if you do not cause me damages in RL or SL, you can post any hateful and malicious tripe you feel like posting here to enlarge your tiny balls. As in fact you do, regularly, given the microscopic size of your testicles and your need for virtual enhancement.

I noticed one of your comments caught in the spam the other day and put it through.

Say, if you are getting caught in the spam file with your ISP, could that be due to attempting to post here on alts?

Gosh, I wonder.

[Prokofy Neva]

As long as Crap keeps attacking me, as he has been doing mercilessly since I posted a twitter about him...changing his skin from robot to human and it being Uncanny (?!) -- as long as he keeps posting the most outrageous bullshit, I push back. Obviously you're blind to your hero's failings and can't see his fault in this.

You know full well that in that tweet about his human/robot skin there isn't anything nasty or malicious. In fact, it's funny. In fact, he can dish it out but can't take it. So he keeps hammering me with outrageous charges (wanting to become CEO of Linden Lab?!) just to be an asshole. I push back. I don't care if he was a friend and is going through a life crisis. I push back when people attack me. That's what it's all about. Tune in to the story earlier and on both sides, and you'll get it. But of course you can't, given that you are taking one side deliberately to be an asshole, too.

[Adric Antfarm]

Assfuck? What is it with you and Crap using ass humping as a pejorative? It's a perfectly acceptable way of doing it. I will not stop just because you two seem to have some beef against it.

You got me Prok. I got to be known as the clown who posts on other people's blogs by using alts.

I couldn't hide one of my idiot postings under an alt and even if I did - how many Tulsa-Cox IPs post on Second Life blogs?

Try again?

[cube]

"for so many years, as cube3, would say, is just a means for "the man" to "rip him off".

I never said "the man" ;) its soo much more like boyz and galz wanting to be boyz in biz....

but thats the "individuals" cartoon.

stunted ethics unleashed in a stunted media.

how can anything but alot of "ripping off" occur.

[Andrew Burton, aka Jarod Godel]

Glad to see your blistering hatred of technologist is as acidic as ever.

[Glass Gearz]

What have us porcelain dolls ever done to you?

[Prokofy Neva]

Hi, Jarod, how are the basement pirates doing?

And yes, my blistering hatred of tekkie is as acidic as ever, and God speed. It's an absolute necessary fight given the blistering hatred that tekkies start out with for all us ordinary users, and the blistering hate that the tekkies in SL have for anyone who crosses them, questions their opensource extremism, or pushes back at their various attempts to take over. That's all. When your class of people stop being assholes, I think you'll find members of the general public such as myself will not find any reason to fight back as hard and as fiercely as possible.

[Kimberly Rufer-Bach]

It's a good thing techies serve files instead of food, Prok, or you'd be eating a lot of spit.

[Skylar Smythe]

Prok - Give peace a chance... I don't agree for one second with what happened with Woodbury but is it possible that you are seeing injury where harmless banter is intended?

Some folks poke playfully... but like I said... in response to Crap taking out a watergun you do not need to take out a bloody bazooka!

There are so few intelligent residents that actually give a shit about the grid... would be nicer if we appreciated each other a little more for our contributions.

Playful prodding and banter rock... but mean folks suck.

Now can I please get back to my relentless sexual pursuit of Adric?

xoxxo
Skylar

[Prokofy Neva]

I'm trying to remember who you are again, Skylar? A mangina?

Er,you've got it all backwards, but that's not uncommon in "people of conscience" like yourself -- snort.

Saying something about someone's robot/human skins = watergun

Accusing someone of blogging for profit/ads, being a greedy cynical land baron, undermining copyright, and wanting to get a CEO job = bloody bazooka.

Maybe I need to link all this and put it side by side for you to "get it" -- but probably not, some people are just blind that way -- for example, Crap and I agree that this happens to Israel all the time, with people blind to the far greater evils of the Arab world and its backing of the Palestinians.

I don't appreciate people accusing me of cynical greed for mercenary reasons and of wishing to grab power. It's just stupid. Especially coming from someone like Crap *who tried to get hired by the Lab* himself ROFL. Honestly, I do have to laugh out loud.

Yeah, mean folks suck. Like Crap is doing right now. But then, he feels he has an excuse.

[Prokofy Neva]

This suggests that there is something greater going on, like I said, not about me:

@isfullofcrap Setting Edloe flag to half-mast. 34 minutes ago via web

[Prokofy Neva]

No explanation as to why the flag at Edloe is at half-mast, who knows.

Meanwhile, this strange, bizarre post:
http://firstlife.isfullofcrap.com/2010/06/the_law_of_triangles_1.html

I think what *this* is supposed to mean is something like:

"I'm really mad in fact that you dissed Grace" or "I identify with furries -- robots are basically furries -- and you dissed some sandbox furry in your post"...or something.

I think probably Crap used to get shit for seeming to stand up to me, or retweet things of mine he supported, or because he came to the Sutherland Dam meetings, or who the hell knows.

And then some bug got in his ear. Somebody said, "Why do you go on supporting Prokofy when X Y Z?" When...he isn't sympathetic to YOUR Linden pals getting fired. When he doesn't seem to love your M parody. When, whatever.

So finally that bug in the ear starts to get to him. I don't know who the bugs are -- I don't have time to go trawling through Plurk and Twitter and blah blah and try to find why he's shifting.

I'm going to stick to what I say. It doesn't matter if I have a lot of friends or a little. I'm not in the business of blogging to make friends, but to tell the truth as I see it by the light of my conscience.

So every position I've taken recently, I stand by, even if the geek/furry/robot/content creator Crap Mariner doesn't find it politically expedient to agree -- or tolerate -- my positions any more.

o the Lindens losing 30 percent? Glad they took a hit for once instead of us

o M Linden? Sure, a problem for bringing in Viewer 2, a mismatch, but not Resident Evil

o Philip coming back? Great. We need some *sincerity* again. From Philip, what I find compelling isn't even the vision thing, but the true belief thing. It's not what I believe in. But it's true. Good enough!

o Grace's singing? Well, what musicians ever did anything for Crap? I don't notice them stampeding to beg him to bring his store back, the ungrateful wretches.

o Mitch Wagner (a source of a bug in Crap's ear) -- a thin-skin geeky whiner who is thoughtful and interesting but -- too thin skinned, especially when dieting.

o FIC list -- a grudge list? No. Just a list of who is influential, etc. Make your own damn list.

I don't need to be loved, popular or in with the cool kids -- or even the "cool kids who make a point of not being cool".

[Huw Grau]

Prokofy Neva "I don't need to be loved, popular or in with the cool kids -- or even the "cool kids who make a point of not being cool".

Prok, that one is up there in your blatant, total and absolute lie list.

I can prove it is a lie, read on.

You so "need to be loved, popular..." if not you wouldn't make such extreme statements in your blog, not resort to personal attacks on people etc.

I you really mean -

"I don't need to be loved, popular or in with the cool kids -- or even the "cool kids who make a point of not being cool" -

then just for one week post and reply without the histrionics etc.

A lot of what you blog about has merit however your point, usually made in 3 or 4 paragraphs then gets lost in the 30 or 40 paragraphs of totally unnecessary personal attack, histrionics and the obligatory anti-commie and FIC references etc.

[Prokofy Neva]

Um, no.

I do my thing.

I fail to see why I would have to listen to some anonymous fucktard tell me to "just one week" post differently in some unnatural way.

What I write isn't "histrionics," it's a chronicle of what is happening.

Crap is having some sort of...oh, I don't know. Midlife crisis.

I'm the punching back for it.

I haven't done anything wrong.

End of story.

I don't care if you don't like my writing style or references, there's always the option to go fuck yourself.

[Skylar Smythe]

Prok - I fail to see how your relentless attack of people is any different than griefing...

Which would make you just ... like...?

*shakes head*

My point is that you are intelligent and interesting enough (and informed enough) to draw attention to your blog without the personal attacks on ANYONE not just Crap.

Using confrontational personal bullshit is akin to making your blog tabloid trash.. it takes away from a lot of the quality writing and debating you do provide.

Like I said... beneath you.

Now can someone explain what a mangina is? Im not sure whether I should be offended or stimulated by the that... ;)

xx
Skylar

[Cube Republic]

a mangina is a woman pretending to be a man in SL

[Extropia DaSilva]

Being the pedant that I am, I shall point out that the 'uncanny valley' refers to a point where an artificial human (be it CG or physical android) comes very close to looking completely naturalistic, but nevertheless still has something subtely artificial about it. A good example would be the Tom Hanks CG puppet in 'The Polar Express'.

Now, clearly, SL is simply incapable of rendering humanoid characters anywhere near realistic enough to trigger an 'uncanny valley' reaction. The term seems to have become generalised to mean 'anything a person is weirded out by' but that is a contortion of the original definition.

[Huw Grau]

Prok, Skylar posted "Using confrontational personal bullshit is akin to making your blog tabloid trash.. it takes away from a lot of the quality writing and debating you do provide."

So I issue you a challenge, and one I am definite you will refuse.

You call Mitch Wagner -

Mitch Wagner (a source of a bug in Crap's ear) -- a thin-skin geeky whiner who is thoughtful and interesting but -- too thin skinned, especially when dieting."

Well you know Mitch is Copper Robot, that is public knowledge, so my challenge is -

You and I one on one live in voice, and unedited on a live SL stream - it can be Mitch's Copper Robot - or any other stream you choose.

My only requirement it is is not edited and there is an independent moderator to ensure equal time for you and me.

Prok you are so very quick to accuse others of not having what it takes this is your chance to answer those who say you do not and hide behind your blog.

Voice clearly is not an issue for you as you have on numerous occasions in this blog publicly stated you are a RL female, you have spoken of the birth of your children etc. I am a RL male in my mid 50's.

Any other items that you want to address I am happy to do so here in the open on your blog.

So the big question is are you as some have suggested simply hiding behind you blog or do you have what it takes to go one on one with me on an open, live and direct unedited stream to SL?

I am available at any time that is suitable to you.

So over to you Prok?

Oh and check I am not as you say "some anonymous fucktard" check my avatar, check the email huwgrau@gmail.com, I meet you criteria to post, and this comment has in no way harmed you.

Calling me an "anonymous fucktard" appears to me the perfect reason to take the easy way out of my challenge to speak one on one as outlined.

If you honestly believe in what you say what have you to lose?

Looking forward to your reply - Huw.